The holiday season can be particularly difficult for queer and trans people. Sometimes, we don't really have the option to escape it and protect ourselves from inappropriate remarks, intrusive questions or the taboo around LGBTQIA+ subjects.
Whether you choose to stay alone or return to your biological family, it is necessary to put plans in place to face this period and get through it peacefully.
Here are some tips to help you get through the holiday season
- It's completely legitimate to not want to be present with your biological family for family celebrations, especially if it's a source of stress and anxiety for you. On the other hand, it's also legitimate to still want to go see your family, or not to be able to say no to them.
- Remember that your identity and experiences are legitimate. Whether you are out to your family or not, remember that your gender identity and/or sexual orientation is legitimate, even if no one reminds you of it during this time.
- Anticipate your needs and your limits. You can try to set boundaries with them and tell them that you need time for yourself, or you can try to leave times that are too intense for you. Take breaks and tell yourself that this is a period that will pass.
- Make plans to decompress. Prepare a list of friends you can contact urgently if necessary, plan to send each other messages to comfort you and vent together if necessary. You can also externalize your emotions by doing an activity that you enjoy.
- Remember that you are not alone. Don’t hesitate to talk about your struggles with other queer people. Thousands of people are going through exactly the same thing as you!
- The LGBTQI+ community is here for you. You can organize additional parties with your queer friends if you feel the need to be connected with your community during this time. Moreover, you will often find LGBTQI+ associations or people who organize parties for isolated people.
- Remember that you have the right to take care of yourself. Not wanting to participate in end-of-year celebrations where your LGBTQI+ identity is not respected is ok. It is legitimate and important to protect yourself. It’s also legitimate to still want to go see your family, or to not be able to say no to them. Everyone does what they can.
- Next time you can spend it with your chosen family. Don't feel obligated to be present with your biological family if they don't respect you. Many queer and trans people prefer to spend the holidays with their partners or friends.
Spending the holidays as an LGBTQI+ person can present unique challenges, but it's important to remember that your feelings, identity, and experiences are legitimate. Whether you decide to stay with your biological family or create alternative parties with the queer community, the main thing is to take care of yourself.
It is completely legitimate to choose not to participate in traditional family festivities if it compromises respect for one's identity. Anticipating your needs, establishing limits and planning moments to decompress are essential strategies to get through this period peacefully. Remembering that you are not alone and seeking support from the queer community can offer valuable comfort.
Ultimately, each of us has the right to celebrate the holidays in an environment that respects and supports us.
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